He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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