where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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