put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
