Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
