I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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