I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
