Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
