their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
