He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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