saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
