If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
