Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
