I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
