I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
