How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Randomize
