Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
