You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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