You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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