my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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