FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
please come you make the beer taste better
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
