sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
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And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
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Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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