can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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