Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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