So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
