So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
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I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
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they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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