I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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