dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize