Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize