If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
