so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
