so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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