Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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