so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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