Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
