i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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