allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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