This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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