you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
