Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
