weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
