I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Randomize
