This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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