They should really pass out barf bags in church
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
