my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
thus making me awesome and them whores
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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