We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize