"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
His nipple licking is glorious
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