I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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