well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I think your dad took our porno
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
