just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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