Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
