She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
