Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
