Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
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she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
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All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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