I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
