Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
