After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
