I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
