wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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