I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
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3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
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Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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