You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
